Day 193

Bucket Lists. That is how this blog started out..waay back 6 months ago! With a wish and desire to do something, and from there stemmed this amazing outlet, where I have found I have impacted many lives - and helped myself heal and grow! 

What is on your bucket list? We often get sooo caught up in day-to-day hum drum that we forget to dream - we forget that anything we think is achievable. Yet what gets in the way? Or more to the point what do YOU let get in the way? For me it is financial. But in saying that I have never put myself in a position to earn enough to do the things I want - why is that?? I certainly am motivated and have drive and am well educated…? 

I read an interesting article about 'self limiting beliefs' it basically said that thoughts determine our actions and how we perceive the world. That thoughts affect feelings, feelings affect behaviour and behaviour produces results or lack of results. This struck home to me when I read it for I am a very strong "feeler". I have been told that I am an empath - which basically means I can pick up on other peoples feelings and allow them to alter my own actions. Silly I know. 

So what can I and you if you fall into this category do to help limit this? Firstly, its identifying which thoughts are causing these actions or lack there of. I know of a few that I have - particularly in regards to work, and most of them stem from a unconscious fear of authority figures. (So perhaps that is why I am struggling to become one…??) Food for thought anyway! 

Then you can start acknowledging your thoughts and changing their direction and outcome of your actions…

Easy said. Harder to do! Then you practice! At any opportunity!! :) 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 192

Are you a 'gonna' or are you a 'doer'?

You know those people you meet that are 'gonna do this or that' but never seem to get around to doing it? And then there's the people who don't say anything and all of a sudden are doing something amazing…

We have all been both types of people at some stage in our lives - or even in certain aspects of our life. What I have tended to notice is the 'gonna' mindset, basically means that you have the best intentions of giving something a go, but not the huge motivation or drive to do it. Like I was 'gonna' vacuum today, but playing with Buddy was more important…

This is something, having a business, that it's so important to identify your 'gonna' mindset. Have you ever had a to-do list and had all intentions to do it, but at the end of the day have done none of it? It is so easy to procrastinate or find things "more important" to do through the day. So remind yourself why you are doing something - why do it? Why does it make you feel good? What is the reason it is on your to do list? 

And if something you are doing is really challenging and you find yourself saying I'm "gonna" do this, and you don't do it. Question why? Is the timeframe to big? (Do you not have to have it done for 2 weeks or 2 years) Is it important enough for you to do? Have you forgotten? Why have you forgotten? 

Try not to be hard on yourself, but also be realistic. Know what your abilities are and what you can realistically do in a day - i.e. do you need to research something before doing something else? And most importantly when you meet 'gonna' people, you cannot "MAKE" them into a doer, you can offer support or different options, but they need the internal motivation to get things done. The more you get frustrated at them not doing, the more of your personal energy you are giving away to someone's behaviour that ultimately does not affect you. 

Make yourself a doer by:

Setting short time frames

Writing reminders in your diary

Prioritise your to do list

Set your time for the day (i.e. 1 hour block for paperwork where you are not checking your phone)

Allow yourself to digest the day

Give yourself a day off or half a day of for NOTHING, except what you love

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 191

What do you do when you reach a crossroads in your life? When you feel like you need to start pursuing what you find fulfils your life - or your lifelong dreams? Do you jump into something brand new and fresh using the skills you have learnt along the way? Do you keep going with what you do well with fresh eyes? 

Unfortunately no-one can answer these questions but yourself. And the beauty of life, is that there are no wrong answers. But the question you need to ask yourself is…life is so short and precious…what do you want to do with it? 

It is ridiculously easy to get caught up in the day-to-day stresses and overwhelmed with the to-do lists daily. But really what is important? I am asking myself this at the moment. As I have fallen into old habits. March is the month that I will work my bum off to get a bit of money behind me…and then…start on my new adventures. What they will be I am yet to decide. I may just throw caution into the wind and see where life leads me… 

I realised tonight as I sat down to write this, that it has been so super long since I have felt alive…exhilarated…excited…by doing something thrilling that gets your butterflies going in your tummy!! So I am going to find that thing that makes me wants to jump out of bed with that excited feeling… not the resigned "I have to get out of bed to do work…"

Have you found that exciting thing that gets you out of bed with excitement? Are you living the life that you love?? If not, what is stopping you?

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 190

Today I am so grateful that I have people that support and love me in my life. I had one of those days where I was scattered, overwhelmed and wondering 'where do I want to be?' / 'where do I want to go?' It was so lovely to actually sit down and have a conversation with my partner about this. To which he replied: 

'you can't be amazing at something if you are doing everything'. 

Which is very true. But how do you decide where you want to put your focus? Do you continue trying new things until you find something that you want to throw yourself into? It's very easy for someone on the outside to say "don't do that" or "cut that from your life" but its very different when it affects you. At some point thought, something has to give, doesn't it? 

So at the moment I am finding myself in a similar situation to where I was before my accident - split between 4 jobs and working every day. Why?? What is the purpose? (I do have lots of bills to pay…) I have forgotten to enjoy life! To do the things I love! My exercise has taken a backseat - more because my knee has been too sore to do anything. But mostly because I am still not back to 'normal' my exhaustion levels creep up much earlier. 

I vow to have at least one day off from any work a week and to do some form of exercise daily. Oh and to start singing again! It's amazing how much stress is relieved by singing!!!

What area of your life are you neglecting? 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 189

Positivity. Excitement. Passion. Love. Determination. Go-Power. Happiness. Success.

Are all aspects we work on achieving daily. And cannot be achieved without…

Reflection. Time away. Failures. Troubles. Heartbreak. Disappointment.

And most of all Change. Without it nothing we want will happen. Change occurs each minute of everyday. The decisions, even the little ones that we don't actively think about, cause a butterfly effect with our outcomes. Change is so important to adapt. Yet majority of us fight it. Why? Because it is different to what we know, and most probably we are scared of the unknown. 

Embracing change and all of the 'not-so-positive' times or experience in our lives is easier said than done. So what can we do to be nicer to ourselves? Help ourselves during those times? What I have found works is:

1. Accepting little changes daily. Go a different route to work.

2. Actively make decisions for change, this helps you feel more in control. So when change takes you by surprise it becomes easier to deal with. 

3. Your success rate at getting through difficult times is sitting at 100%

4. Breathe. 

5. Take time away from everything to reflect on what is happening. 

6. Think about what can or is going right with this change - not what could go wrong. 

7. Mantras. Develop something that will make you feel ok with the situation. 

8. Music. Listen to music that reflects how you are feeling - it also helps to belt it out with a hairbrush…

9. Talk about it. To someone neutral. Everyone in your life - colleagues, friends, family or acquaintances will all have an opinion. Go and talk to someone that doesn't. Where you can let it all out and not be judged. Often they will not provide any answers, but you will feel so much better because you have said it out loud. 

10. Exercise. Walk it off. Go to the beach. Regroup with nature. 

11. Remember why you are here. Were you meant to be stressed? Nope!

12. Without change we would not have evolved into where we are today. 

13. Smile. Even if it is forced (your brain does not know this) - it releases the feel good hormones!

14. Better yet LAUGH! A good belly laugh. 

15. Perspective. Place whatever is changing into perspective. 

16. Time. I like to think, will I remember this in 5 years time? 

17. Breathe

18. Immerse yourself in something you love. Movies? TV? People watching. Dog watching. People and dog watching (my favourite)

19. Write. Write about anything. Start a blog. Write a book. Stream of consciousness (this is interesting…write whatever pops into your head as you are writing - even if you haven't finished the sentence (harder still!)

20. Meditate. If you don't know how, look up guided meditation. 

Good Luck! Remember that without change, of difference, or troubles, we cannot lead a happy, successful life we want. 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 188

Todays musings…

1. I was following a car today that did not appear to have a driver…mental note if I am too short to be seen, must take of the head rest!

2. Sheep are individual..watched 2 Rams facing off…their audience of sheep was so funny…there was the one that was standing there egging them on, one that couldn't care less, one that was trying to get in between it… I had my own show!!

3. You will always have an impact on someone…make sure you are leaving the impression you want…do you leave someone better than before they saw you?

4. Never judge your situation with someone that is in a similar situation…everyone has their own story.

5. The perception of yourself that others see is often quite different to how you perceive yourself…stop being so hard on yourself. 

6. Speak positively to yourself everyday - you end up listening to EVERYTHING you say.

7. Dogs, like children, go through a stage of hating their hair brushed! 

8. Having a debrief about your day is very important. 

9. Make sure you change your passwords regularly - you never know who will hack into your…computer…eep!

10. Playing words with Friends does not constitute as a 'mental' activity - scrabble does! 

11. 2L of water a day is a must. 

12. Get outside! Even 10minutes of fresh air makes everything so much more bare able. 

13. Be the best YOU every day. 

14. When you decide to do something, do it with all your heart and you will be rewarded. Put out what you want to attract :)

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 187

I talk a lot when I'm dog training about thresholds. About reading your dog and knowing when they are reaching the top end of their threshold. So to explain it simply, everyone has a baseline. This baseline can be slightly higher or lower than 'average'. So by getting to know your dog, you know when they are sitting at their 'normal'. And by reading their subtle body language cues we can remove them from the situation as they are heightening, before they get to breaking point. It's easier to stop a behaviour before it happens then to control it once it has happened. 

Today I realised, what I am so good at in my job, I'm not so good at for myself! I had gone over the breaking point today, and forgot to watch my signs to remind me I needed a break. For me it's often not until I reach this point that I am reminded to have a break. My warning signs tend to be - lack of sleep, short temper and the need to do everything RIGHT now! Plus a few others. I am working on reading these signs before I reach the snappy point (I say snappy because I definitely get snappy!!) 

The big thing in dog training and in your own life, is if you do tip over just say "whoops, I'll be better at reading the signs next time". Not "I did it again, I'm such a bad person etc". You can sit with the little negative gremlin for a little bit, then tell him to go away and start to build yourself up - Fill your cup. When you give more than you recharge, you will be left at breaking point. Regular 'me' / recharge / quiet time is needed. 

What are your signs leading up to your had enough point? Can you recognise and recharge before you reach breaking point? Its a good and difficult skill to master!

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 186

Today my dad came to visit me in the afternoon. I was having what felt like the first 'me' afternoon in I can't remember how long! It was so lovely to sit and have a chat with dad - although I had this nagging feeling I was meant to be doing something or being somewhere… You know that thought?? 

Then I was driving into work (night shift tonight!) and I thought, I am so incredibly lucky to have a beautiful family who just pops in. And further more, dad is so excited to go down to my boyfriends house and help landscape his garden! Just gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling to have so many people close to me that are happy to help and give me guidance. 

I am thinking a lot tonight about how fantastic my family (and my close friends) have been in the 9.5months since my accident. They have been supportive, kind, an ear to talk to, the voice of reason and also the people to give me a little reminder every now and then about where I am now! It's so interesting about people that come and go in your life. 

There are what I call the rocks, who you know will always be solid and in your life. 

The 'Trains' - who whip in and out of your life before you've had a chance to blink!

The meercats - who are alert to any difficulties and go running / hiding when they think there might be trouble

The  Cameleons - the people who are in your life for a long time, but are just disguising themselves, and are not 'rocks'

Butterflies - just happy flitting around the edges

Cats - who only seem to appear when they need something from you

Ships - who sail into your life for awhile, and out again - but continue to stop in every so often (you'll know they will always come back)

Now, every one of the people that crosses your path in your life, will do so for a reason - to shape who you are today. They will come into your life to teach you what you need, or don't need, attributes you like / don't like and teach you something! It's so important to open yourself up to meeting new and different people - "Fish from a different pond" as one of my friends would say. For you never know when a 'rock' will cross your path. 

An abstract and interesting way to look at relationships! Who do you have in your life??

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 185

Every little thing that you do adds up to who you are at this present moment. Every win, every thought, every conversation, every mistake, every hurdle… Without what you have gone through, you would be someone different at this moment in time. 

We often look at all of the challenges in our life with frustrated negativity. However, without hurdles or mistakes there would be no success. Nor would the success be as sweet. That's not to say that sometimes you need to know when you have given your all to something and it's time to move on and try something different. Something that is a better fit for you. 

When you to make a mistake, we are all so hard on ourselves. I drill into myself the saying "whoops! That's unlike me! I'll do things differently next time). This is a lovely saying, as it acknowledges you made an error, but also makes a promise to do things differently. If you make the same mistake twice…that's a decision (see quote below!). I think the important thing to do, that we all don't do often enough, is reflect on the day - what did you do well, what could you improve? Make a list, or just think about it. But actively think about your day. Most of the time we go through the motions, have our discussions, change our moods to suit those around us…without remembering what our morals and beliefs are. 

When was the last time you 'checked in' on yourself? Are you behaving according to your morals? How can you be a better you tomorrow? 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 184 - Desensitisation

Desensitisation.

What does this mean? The diminished emotional responsiveness to a negative or aversive stimulus after repeated exposure to it.

Phew! Basically it means you become less sensitive to something that previously you might of been more aware of, frightened of or phobic about. I read an interesting article about this the other day, with how we are desensitised to many things that happen in the world. It's so true. How often to you watch the news and see another mugging, or king hit, or knifing. Even though we still find this shocking, we tend to forget about it quite quickly after we see it. 

Which got me on to thinking about what else in our day-to-day life we are desensitised to. And came up with a biggy - electricity. We are so conditioned to be able to come home turn on a light, the air conditioner, tv, kettle etc without a thought. Yet when it goes out…well…suddenly we are again made aware of how lucky we are. 

There are so many things we are desensitised to - cars, money, health, food, roads, accessibility etc. It's not until it's taken away from us that we start to realise how good we do have it. It's so important to reflect on all of the amazing things that we have in our life, and time to let go of the negativity - the 'daily grind' of "HAVING" to do…

What are you desensitised to? Or take for granted? You really don't know what you've got till its gone. So it's definitely important to reflect on what we have, even down to the littlest things - like having clean clothes to wear everyday. 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 183

Back to the specialist today. More X-rays, an ultrasound and an anti-inflammatory injection into the ligaments in my knee, 4.5hours drive and I'm home. What was good about today is that is validated the ongoing pain I have been having. I often don't discuss the ongoing pain, tingling in my foot, cold sensation, the inability to do mundane daily tasks without feeling exhausted.

I do have my moments and when I do issue a complaint (generally it comes out as frustration) I get "You're too hard on yourself" or "It hasn't been that long". Both are adequate assessments - both I know quite well myself. My point in this though is when you are in pain day in - day out, when you don't feel like you can undertake tasks you know you should be able to, the sheer exhaustion your body feels on a DAILY basis - it's not how long it's been that is relevant because every day feels like a year. 

In this case, most of the time you want just what I got today - validation. Validation that there is a reason behind why you are feeling the way you are. It is a quantitive thing - not an abstract 'time' thing. It is difficult hearing someone be upset at themselves - especially when you can see how far they have come in a relatively short time. But I guess when you look at how often someone who is in pain actually says anything - it's probably time to validate their feelings, let them get it off their chest and move forwards. 

This is different of course for different people - if someone DOES complain everyday, then it is relevant to point them towards the positives. I can tell you, when someone is recovering from a  trauma - chances are you only hear a tenth of what they are going through. It is so important to be supportive and if you want to know exactly how they are feeling, you need to ask the RIGHT questions. If you asked me how I was going, I would reply "fine". If you specifically asked me how my knee was, or how I was in the car etc you would be more inclined to get a clearer picture of how I am really. 

Phew, a heavy one tonight. This goes back to ACTIVE listening and really thinking about your comments before saying them. Will they benefit the person who is talking? Or is it just to say something. The best response I have had on one of my days was "I love you anyway" - it made me smile, feel validated and be able to let go of some of the negativity. 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 182

Last week was a huge week. And many lessons learnt. Rather than focussing on describing my week to you I thought I would write a simple list of all the things I learnt, both about myself and life…

1. Always find out specific details before saying 'yes' to something

2. People are not all like yourself, expectations are precursors to disappointments. So when you are dealing with someone make sure you are aware exactly of what someone can and will be capable of doing. 

3. If you don't place restrictions on how you accept being treated, people will always take more. **Remember to only give what you are happy to

4. Limited self-consciousness leads to a happier and more fulfilling life. (And a more fun life)

5. Dance to the music the way YOU want to - not the way you THINK others want you to. 

6. When going through a challenging time, turn your focus to something positive that is happening in the near future…i.e. visiting someone that you love, planning a holiday etc. 

7. Spend time (a lot of time) with the ones you love. 

8. Be present in that moment - not thinking of where you are off to next. 

9. Ask for help. Most people are willing to help you if you ask!

10. Sometimes even the most uninteresting things give you the biggest inspirations. 

11. Watching and playing with animals is a big de-stressor.

12. Putting something off takes more energy than just doing it. 

13. Make sure you have fun. Life is not only about work and money. 

14. Laugh - a big hearty laugh until your sides hurt and tears are streaming down your face and you are doing the silent laughter. If you need inspiration just pick a theme and start laughing (i.e. like a monkey, or like an elderly person, or really high pitched etc) - pretty soon it will be real!

15. Sometimes it takes being put back into an old (bad) habit to remind you that this is not where you are destined to be. 

16. You will always find friends where you least expect it. 

17. If you say you will do something, even if only to yourself, honour it and do it. You will feel like a better person because of it. 

18. It is good sometimes to zone out and just observe. 

19. Lunches are never to be missed. 

20. Monitor caffeine intake when tired, for when you can actually sleep, you won't be able to!!

21. Drink water. Lots of water.

22. Watch your step.

23. Smile at everyone - you never know whose day you will be making! 

24. Don't let fear (…of what people think…of failing…of succeeding…) get in the way of doing something extraordinary!

Plenty still to go on with…but that's plenty for you to mull over today!

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 181

STOP! REGROUP! Be proud of all you have accomplished thus far!! :) 

Sometimes we are so focussed on where we are going that we forget to stop and look at how far we have come! This definitely pertains to me - in all areas of life. But particularly in exercise. At the moment I am up to running 3x200m in one go (with a break of around 100m in between) which most would say is AWESOME compared with how I have been going and what my body has been through - but me? I go "yep that's good…BUT…" Some days I find my lack of strength and fitness so frustrating, but realise that there is not much I can do - other than what I am doing. 

This brings me back to the point that we are so incredibly hard on ourselves - we put negative things in our heads - generally things that will never happen. A book I recommend reading is: "Feel the Fear and do it anyway" a fantastic book about exactly as the title suggests. When you look at visionaries through time, they have never had the attitude of "she'll be right" or "wait for it to happen" - nope! They have all gone out of their comfort zones and pushed themselves. But most of the time the fear of rejection, or our self doubt or our "little gremlin" (unaffectionately termed by me!) gets in the way. 

So…what can we do about this little gremlin to make our lives happier and more well rounded? We can acknowledge that we feel that way, take a deep breath and take a chance with something OUTSIDE our comfort zone (could be as little as wearing odd coloured socks!). And a big one I think is to start small. Don't push yourself so far out of your comfort zone that you are so overwhelmed you forget why you were doing it in the first place. This will only make you resent attempting new things rather than having small wins and building up to bigger! 

So…what are you going to try today that is different? :) 

…Until Tomorrow xox