Day 226

Tonight I started to do a jigsaw puzzle again – not just because I love them, but also because I realized that it is a form of meditation – a form of stilling my mind. And I have been spending wa-ay too much time on the computer/iphone/ipad/technology. There is something to be said about calmly doing a jigsaw puzzle with the clock ticking and your best mate (Buddy) to keep you company.

I also think a lot whilst I am doing my puzzle. In a  good way. Sometimes I will be calm and relaxed and let my mind wander, other times I will have an epiphany! Like tonight! I love puzzles, because for me I can relate everyday life to them so well. Tonight for instance was a struggle. I was starting the puzzle for the first time, opening up the box and seeing mismatched pieces – some even upside down! Heaven forbid, as that is disorder!!

So I started to find all the edge pieces, as that is the place I like to start, whilst doing this I turn all of the other pieces picture side up – notice I didn’t say ‘right’ side up?!  As I was turning the others up, I started to jump to the next thing and wondered if I should start  to collect other images? Then I stopped and had a scoff – this is what I do often in everyday life – and as a result suffer more anxiety than most, as I am not focused at the job at hand, more often skipping to the next thing before I have fully completed my initial task.

I sat there tonight, even though I wanted to jump up and write this whilst I had the thought (jumping to the next thing, before I had finished the first thing) and I sorted all of the edge pieces out. Even though it was tough at first, I stuck with it, and then by the end was having fun and didn’t want to move on!

Everyday we encounter times where we can ‘jump’ to the next thing without finishing the first thing – but sometimes all ‘multitasking’ gives us is many un-finished or poorly finished tasks and a racing mind!

Next time you are jumping from task to task, stop and if you have to, force, yourself to stick with doing only one and finishing it before you move on. Not as easy as it sounds in today’s day!! Here’s to calming your mind!

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 225

Who wakes up in the morning and says "I am happy today?!" Do we set ourselves up for a win? Set ourselves up to have a happy, fulfilling and smiley day? How many of us roll over, groan and press snooze, then grumble when we do get up? 'I didn't sleep well' or 'damn I'm running late' or 'I'm sooo tired!'

Today I said to myself that every morning I will set myself up to having a good day. I will reflect on how I am feeling, then not let it dictate how my day goes. Every time I am feeling tired or grumpy from the previous night, I'll check in and see if I can do something different the next night. So I allowed myself 10minutes to do a meditation / reflection / energising thing this morning. I still had a tired lethargic day, but I was able to do it with a smile! 

Little changes daily can add up to big results. Catch yourself when you think of something negative or when you are about to say something horrible, and reflect before you say it. Can you change it into a positive? Or something to learn from? How do you carry yourself? Do you attract what you put out? Do you attract happy, friendly, positive and caring people? Or do you attract those that bring you down? 

Maybe it's time to take some time and write down your philosophy...a time well spent I think!

...Until Tomorrow xox

Day 224

Worry. 

It is such a wasted emotion - does it serve a purpose? Does it get you anywhere? I wonder where worry stemmed from? Anger, Sadness, Calmness, Thoughtfulness...all serve a purpose and you can see how they fit in - with the innate behaviours of us, like fight/fight/freeze - something we have no or limited control over. But worry sneaks up on us and takes hold, but for what reason - or is there one? 

Anyone who has done any meditation or mindfulness knows that thoughts are just that - thoughts. And when we get fixated on them, is when we start to see problems such as anxiety (on-going) or depression. I was talking about worry tonight with my boyfriend. What about worry is helpful? If it's not being helpful, then what can you do to stop? 

Meditate, reflect, write...but for my logical brain, 'solving' the problem I'm worried about is the best solution. For example if I am worried about something that is out of my control due to timing...I put a time limit on it. 'if ___ is not better by 9am tomorrow, I will ___' So I don't feel like I am doing nothing, instead I have made a plan and know I am doing as much as I can for the situation. Funnily since my accident and learning to meditate and calm my thoughts, I have rarely experienced the gut-wrenching nauseating 'worry' about life. 

This is not to say that I don't care or am desensitised to concern or empathy, but I am now just grasping the ability to realise that worry only makes you feel worse and solves nothing in the end. 

Be proactive and identify what you CAN control and what you cannot. Make a plan if that helps - or talk to someone who can! 

...Until Tomorrow xox

Day 223

Sometimes it is hard to keep our thoughts and opinions to ourselves. It is so hard to see someone you love battling with something that you think or feel you could help them with...if only they would listen to what you have to say...

One thing I have learnt from being on the other end of such advice - particularly with day-to-day issues - is that often this advice is not wanted nor asked for and often a listening ear and empathy is all that is needed. Sometimes doing something for ourselves, regardless of what it costs, or where it takes us, or who it involves, is a journey that we need at that time in our lives. Remember that life will take us to where we need to go, and there is a something to be learnt from every situation. 

Often the person will come to the conclusion they need to in their own time - without your unwanted advice (different if they have asked you). Isn't is funny how we are so quick to jump in with advice, we forget to actually listen to what the other person is saying?? Where does that come from? The need to show we are intelligent  or know more than the other person, or do we just want to help so badly that we cannot help but to give advice. 

What is advice anyway? A completely subjective view on a topic? According to the dictionary Advice is guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent action. I find that definition funny. Advice can be a fantastic tool, when asking a professional for instance i.e. advice about your dog from a dog trainer... ;) Except majority of advice is offered on a whim, without knowing the full story, and without asking if it is wanted. i.e. "I think you should get a better job" or "You are doing too much and need to stop"... 

We all do it. Can you stop yourself next time you go to offer advice when it wasn't asked for?  How is your active listening?

...Until Tomorrow xox

Day 222

We have the power to change our day. We can make it whatever we want. Just because one bad thing happens in the morning does not mean it is going to be 'one of those days'. Of course it will be one of those days if you keep repeating the things that have gone wrong, and saying 'oh no, it's one of those days'...!! 

It's ok to have an off day, or say - yep I'm going to have a quiet day because i'm tired, or I really need a mental health day...But what we so often do is label the whole day - 24 hour period, as a bad day, for perhaps a 5 minute block of bad things happening. When you spell it out - it sort of sounds a bit preposterous! 5 minutes out of 24 hours! I have noticed something about myself in regards to 'one of those days'. 

Firstly, if a few things untoward happen in the first 30mins of getting up, my ability to have a good mood diminishes. So I now start the day with a brief meditation - one that invites happy energy in. If something bad happens (like this morning where my 2 shakes spilt all over bench, cupboard, floors, me AND buddy!), I have enough in my energy tank to step back and look at it - rather than react and get annoyed. The other thing that I do is look at myself - I knew today had the potential to be 'one of those days' if I let myself continue to think about it. Especially as I noticed myself being more clumsy. So I looked to laugh at myself each time something happened, instead of adding it into the negative pool. 

It works, not only do you turn the negative day into a better one, you feel better as your energy is not being dragged down and zapped by negativity. 

Try laughing next time something clumsy happens...

...Until Tomorrow xox

Day 221

I have just realised the last few months I have been a bit of a negative nancy - yes I've been all happy and 'positive' on the outside - but my self talk and how I talk about myself to others or was negative. I was focussing on what I can't do, or what I've lost since my accident i.e. my strength, my fitness, my ability to run, my ability to do things with ease etc. So I'd beat myself up. Oh of course I would say things like 'I've come a long way' or 'At least I can walk without a limp' etc. But on the inside was a different story. 

I would be stuck in a negative self feeding loop. I would complain about my inability to do exercise, the fact I've lost my 'tone' and have some extra 'fat' but then I'd make myself feel horrible and sad, so I would go to the gym and then eat chocolate covered liquorice! But whilst at the gym the whole time in my head I would be saying 'that's not as good as you use to be able to do' or 'those love handles never use to be there'.

Today instead of acting all positive, it actually all hit home about what I can do. So today when those little gremlins snuck in to take a stab, I put them straight back in their box with something I can do. A bit of 'anything you can do I can do better'. And for the first time since my accident I have been more self-aware, what is my body doing? Do I want something to eat? Or am I just trying to comfort myself. 

I may not be able to run, but I can swim and ride a bike. I may not be able to do long-standing hand stands or chin ups, but I can work on my core. The next thing on my to-do list is to go bike shopping. For I am going to do a triathlon next summer. This time next year, I WILL do a marathon. 

Sometimes when we think we are being positive, we actually are not, and need to reflect or meditate more to be aware of where we are mentally.

...Until Tomorrow xox

Day 220

Sometimes in life we forget to look outside of ourselves and look for a different alternative or solution to a situation than to react emotionally. I found this today when I had a meeting about how best to deal with staff that I am responsible for in my new role. I was getting frustrated at easy-to-follow instructions that were not being followed. I was made aware that I need to understand how each person individually approaches the situation learns and adjust the training accordingly. 

It has made me much more reflective on everything, and how what comes naturally to me, may not for others. And also that if it is important to a situation, providing knowledge and understanding is important. I have some interesting ideas for our next staff meeting. Including some exercises that I utilise in dog training! 

Sometimes asking why someone is feeling the way they do, by picking up on their behaviour and sometimes subtle body language can be a way to help them and also diffuse a potentially sad situation. Listening to what they say without judgement and without thinking about your response (active listening) is a skill that is a difficult one to learn. Being empathetic and compassionate with your response is important, but not always easy!

So next time you react with emotion, stop and have a breath and reflect on how you may better deal with the people involved. To distance yourself from the negativity some people will bring to a situation is so important too! Remain clear headed and calm.

...Until Tomorrow xox