Day 227

Do you ever get to the end of the day and feel like you have been on a rollercoaster with your emotions? And you climb into bed and almost say 'thank goodness that day has finished?!'

I had one of those today, I awoke and was snuggly with Buddy and then went to the gym. My mind was scattered and I didn't allow enough time to meditate before having to walk through the work doors. The morning was crazy with lots of driving and non stop action. Then I was vague, tired (I have been having a lot of nightmares lately) and had a very low tolerance - if I could of excused myself from work for 10mins I would of (and needed to) meditated. My mind was racing, I was anxious and I just was not thinking clearly nor in the moment. 

I arrived back from my morning program a bit late - now this does impact the clients and the lunch duties, however this is the first time it has ever happened (normally I'm early!!). And at least four other staff jumped on me about being late. Suddenly I had this internal battle with myself - I did not want to react angrily, however I was angry and I tried with all my might to not bite, or say anything, as I knew I was feeling a bit off and it was my 'fault' for being late but I couldn't help it. And I let of a few swear words and vented. I went on with the next hour sort of looking at myself thinking 'that's not like me' but also holding on to the anger. Then at my lunch break I meditated - finally! Makes all the difference, stilled my mind and allowed me to have a breather. 

During the rest of the afternoon I had a chat with someone whose daughter is in and out of hospital, found out one of my friends friend died in a car accident over the weekend and one of my other friends step mothers had passed away. All of this shook me out of it and I realised that no matter how caught up in our daily frustrations we are, there are always other people experiencing their own horrific battles. 

I came home and had a different outlook, Buddy had never looked happier, I have a roof over my head, family and friends that love me and options for the future. 

Never forget to end the day being grateful for what you have. I think I will also start doing this before I get out of bed in the morning too! 

...Until Tomorrow xox