Monday, August 24, 2015

Day 245

Yesterday I had a tough day...I was sick of not being active, sick of the pain, frustrated at not being able to run, I felt bloated and blurgh. I was frustrated at people looking all happy saying 'I ran 10k today' or 'I just registered for an adventure race' (please note this is not a direct stab at anyone). I was so furious at not being able to claim my body. I am limited by pain and have to work within the pain threshold. Somedays it is an effort to even walk. I mean to say I was frustrated, but not at any one person, just at my situation. 

Then...I take my client to visit a friend (also with a disability and weighing well over 100kgs), whom I hear mutter behind her hand...Megs' looks fat, she looks like she's pregnant. Oh what a day to hear those words! I was having a 'fat' day anyway. I already didn't like my body...but to hear that...I thought...sheesh, maybe I have put on some weight. Then I looked at the situation, two quite overweight people saying me (58kgs) was 'fat'. Then I started to laugh. 

It is funny how sometimes you are so down on yourself and your situation that you forget to look at the bigger picture...are you alive and have friends and family that love you? Even if you can't run a marathon or an adventure race? You betcha! And sometimes it takes an awkward or preposterous situation to knock your senses back in!! 

So today, whilst not running, or even walking (bad pain today), I hold my head high and say...yep I have some weight around the middle and am not as toned as I once was, but know that I am doing everything in my power to be the best person I can be in an uncontrollable situation. 

Next time you feel like judging someone, or saying something about their physical appearance, perhaps you should stop and ask them instead how they are going. 

...Until Tomorrow xox

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