Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Day 249

Today I realised its been awhile. Life has taken off in full force. My businesses are going nuts and when I'm not 'working' on the ground I am developing databases, timelines, plans, networking etc. I've let some things slide...not because I want to, but because they are not quite the priority or what is making me think! But sometimes in life you don't always need to finish things immediately. I will continue on this blog - and on another (for dogs!) more regularly. 

You know what hit me tonight? I play words with friends, mainly with my mum and we have about 100 games going. Great fun. It's now about who can play the highest word, as opposed to who wins at the end, less about wanting to beat the other person and more about beating your previous score. That's how life should be. Less about 'winning' the big if picture and more about enjoying the thrill of the here and now. I admit I am one to get caught up in the bigger picture.. Is this what I want forever?! But no, you don't need to know what you want FOREVER you just need to be happy with what you are RIGHT now! 

What are your daily reminders to enjoy today? What makes today the 'highest score yet'?!

...Until Tomorrow xox

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Day 248

Today I ran 1.2km first time since my accident - relatively pain free. A HUGE step in my recovery. For those who have been listening to me for the past 18months, can understand the importance of this for me. 

My life over the past 18months has been up and down and sometimes sideways. It's not so much about the physical or emotional aspects, but on the whole, tiring ordeal. I think sometimes we forget how quickly our bodies adapt to change, yet we are left behind emotionally. I have learnt so much over this time - about myself, about change and also about PACING - not getting what you want straight away just because you want it. 

It's interesting how when you want something so bad, people say you can get it. What they neglect (or perhaps even know) is that you may get it, but it can take some serious time and effort chipping away toward the end goal. Also whilst you are doing that the end goal might of changed! I always want to get back into running - so that aspect hasn't changed a great deal, what has changed is my mindset and my method of doing so. Instead of running 6 months ago (which I could, but was in a lot of pain), I took my time building up strength in my legs, working at things I knew I could do - slowly.

Frustratingly slowly. But the time spent building up my strength has made the joy today so much sweeter. Oh there were times on the run where I was wondering whether I wanted to stop because of knee pain, or because of 'mental' pain (thinking there was pain but there wasn't). Needless to say I pushed through. 

The saying 'no-one said it would be easy' is definitely true, mental strength and stamina is needed...for all things in life. How much do you want it? How long are you ready to chip away at it? 

...Until Tomorrow xox

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Day 247

Procrastination. We've all done it. We all fall into the trap of it. And we certainly use it to our (dis)advantage many times throughout the day. Have you ever thought...oh I'll just check my email before I make that phone call. Or I'll just press snooze one more time then I'll go for that run..

Oh yes, procrastination is definitely the reason most of us never achieve what we truly want. And it is the only thing that cannot be 'blamed' or justified by others. (although some may try..."Nana really needed me to...") At the end of the day though, it is only ourselves that dictate the path to achievement  getting things done and feeling fulfilled. 

As you may know I am expanding my dog training business www.playfulpaws.com.au, and really stepping up, going for it. Incorporating everything I know and love (including working with people with a disability) and giving it a red-hot go. In order to do this, I have stepped back from a role I was in for nearly 3 years. Scary. So Tuesday was my first real business day, I dedicated it to cleaning my office and making to-do lists and becoming overwhelmed! 

Then today I really got stuck in...paperwork, phone calls, making appointments, working out timelines, creating databases...my head is spinning!! It was productive..in amongst that though, I packed a box of kids books, cleaned the bathroom, made dinner, had a cuppa with a friend etc. But tonight, I feel alive. I made much progress, although there were a lot of baby steps!!

How do you overcome procrastination? 
Tips that help me: 
- Break it down into smaller steps - i.e. with the office, it's to sort through a shelf a day
- Write a to-do list and prioritise
- Set time-frames for tasks i.e. 30mins phone calls, 30mins break, 1hour reports etc
- If it is your own business - make sure you have 'working hours' so you can work a set time, and still have time to do other things - like gym, walk the dog, visit family (OUTSIDE of these times!)
- Catch yourself when you are falling into the trap of wasting time
- Work out how valuable your time is...and use it wisely
- Eat regularly and drink loads of water - sounds silly, but when you are fired up and doing something...the thought of doing this may feel like 'stopping' / procrastinating!
- There is a difference between procrastinating and doing tasks i.e. doing the ironing after dinner is just a task but doing ironing during the day when you need to make a difficult phone call....well... 
- If you are avoiding doing something, generally what you are filling your time with is procrastination. 
- Excuses are things we come up with to try to justify not completing something. 
- Only schedule what is possible to complete in the day. 

A quote I read today...

...Until Tomorrow xox

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Day 246

What is it about life that makes you give up? 

When I set myself the task of writing this blog, I was a bit broken, needed something to motivate and help me through a time...yet 12 months has past since I began this journey and I am only at day 246. What happened along the way for me to stop writing (something I love)? Oh of course I can tell you the myriad of reasons as to why this has happened.
I've been working, I don't have enough time, I've been on holidays, I have no internet...oh believe me I have not only heard them all, but actually said them all.


What is easy is giving up. What is harder, is jumping back onto the horse...the longer you leave it, the harder it is, and the more excuses you find to say that it's ok. The funny thing is how much power we give away to others when we are making the decisions to do it again. Such as 'everyone will think I'm silly for starting it again' or 'everyone will wonder why I had a break' or 'everyone will think..here we go again, how long until I quit this time...' 

In ACTUAL reality, people are happy with whatever you decide to do. They may be disappointed or may want more from you - but that is THEIR issue not yours. 

So once you've overcome the initial steps to your 'come back', how do you stop it from happening again? My advice...you focus on the now. Do what enjoys you right now. Will stopping something you have started up again happen? Maybe? Possibly? Probably. Will that be ok? Definitely. 

I was reminded of this again last night at Nutrimetics training - 

It's not how you handle the highs that define your success and your abilities - but how you handle the lows. 

What makes your heart sing? What do you enjoy? Why aren't you doing it? Go and do it. 


...Until Tomorrow xox

Monday, August 24, 2015

Day 245

Yesterday I had a tough day...I was sick of not being active, sick of the pain, frustrated at not being able to run, I felt bloated and blurgh. I was frustrated at people looking all happy saying 'I ran 10k today' or 'I just registered for an adventure race' (please note this is not a direct stab at anyone). I was so furious at not being able to claim my body. I am limited by pain and have to work within the pain threshold. Somedays it is an effort to even walk. I mean to say I was frustrated, but not at any one person, just at my situation. 

Then...I take my client to visit a friend (also with a disability and weighing well over 100kgs), whom I hear mutter behind her hand...Megs' looks fat, she looks like she's pregnant. Oh what a day to hear those words! I was having a 'fat' day anyway. I already didn't like my body...but to hear that...I thought...sheesh, maybe I have put on some weight. Then I looked at the situation, two quite overweight people saying me (58kgs) was 'fat'. Then I started to laugh. 

It is funny how sometimes you are so down on yourself and your situation that you forget to look at the bigger picture...are you alive and have friends and family that love you? Even if you can't run a marathon or an adventure race? You betcha! And sometimes it takes an awkward or preposterous situation to knock your senses back in!! 

So today, whilst not running, or even walking (bad pain today), I hold my head high and say...yep I have some weight around the middle and am not as toned as I once was, but know that I am doing everything in my power to be the best person I can be in an uncontrollable situation. 

Next time you feel like judging someone, or saying something about their physical appearance, perhaps you should stop and ask them instead how they are going. 

...Until Tomorrow xox

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Day 244

I read this quite often and I love it...

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

Remember to put the glass down.

(Courtesy of Jimmy Harmon)

Food for thought...how much weight are you carrying around? Can you set it down occaisionally to have a break? (I guess this is what mindfulness, or meditation allows us to do!) Just remember that everyone has their own glass.

...Until Tomorrow xox

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Day 243

My computer went kaput for 2 weeks! Now I have it back, be ready for all my epiphany's whilst I couldn't write...

1. I think dicitonary's should add words into the list once your phone auto-corrects your own made-up ones!

2. Never go to a NEW shopping centre when you are busting for the toilet

3. Always bring extra

4. Keep receipts and photocopy them, particularly important things

5. Eat every three hours to make sure you don't eat like a trojan (or naughty things)

6. Do what makes your heart sing...not ride the 
wave's of someone else's success

7. Life can be cut short in an instant, appreciate the little things...sun on your face, a wag of your dogs tail, bbq with family, phone call from friends

8. You can get more done when you are expecting visitors (or have a shorter timeframe!)

9. 'Busy' is a state of mind..not what is packed into your diary

10. Can you say you have saved money if it gets spent as soon as you reach your goal target??

11. You can get many opinions of something, yet the only one you should trust is the opinion you form yourself!

12. Always take a travel mug

...Until Tomorrow xox

Friday, July 31, 2015

Day 242

I'm at a bit of a loss of what to write tonight, so I thought I'd just start writing and see what happens! I am on a sleepover shift and I forgot my toothbrush. And gosh I'm uncomfortable!! Who would think that such a little thing could impact you such a lot?! But then that's not overly surprising is it, when on a day-to-day basis we let lots of little things impact us. 

It's hard to be positive when you are surrounded by negativity. This week I have realised this so much more than normal, as I haven't been 100%...fighting a cold, the everyday battle of pain etc. So I let little things really bug me. This happens a lot more I think when we forget to look after ourselves. 

Sometimes you really need to check in with yourself and be reminded of what is really important. I mean, yes I will have furry teeth tonight, but I think my partner and friends and family will still love me. What is most important to you? Have you been giving it the love and attention you need to? If the answer is no, then we are living life the wrong way! 

Go and spend time with your loved ones, watch a movie, garden, read a book or exercise. Whatever is most important to you! 

...Until Tomorrow (with clean teeth) xox

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Day 241

When something has been taken away from you - something you really miss - it can be challenging to be happy for someone else when they achieve it. It's interesting isn't it - how can you be happy for someone when they are achieving or have something that you really want, but can't have right now?

Every time I see one of my friends (or anyone on social media actually) RUNNING, my stomach does a backward flip, I feel sick and sad...and I start to resent my situation. That's ok, I can feel that way. I can acknowledge it and move on. Now I see people and I am happy for their achievement in running, without comparing myself and my situation to it. And that is what I realise it comes down to. 

Everyday we are flooded with situations, images, music, and people that challenge us to be better, or to compare us to other people (particularly those that may not be realistic, such as models...) And that I think is the biggest challenge - not to succumb to outwardly influences to impact on how we feel inwardly. That reminds me of a saying I came across once:

'If you are outwardly influenced, you are inwardly lost'.

I think we need to be careful about what we take from media, photos, Facebook, friends, advice etc. Yes you can get a bit sad when you compare yourself to someone, but remember it is what you do with it, and how you manage yourself...do you fall into a put of 'poor me' or do you reflect on the other strong aspects you have in your life??

Surround yourself with people and things that make you feel good, and feel fulfilled about where you are in life. 

...Until Tomorrow xox

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Day 240

Sometimes the littlest act of kindness can make yours and someone else day. We often look at 'charity' or 'kindness' as being this huge thing, that at the end of the day we are so tired, it just gets thrown into the too-hard basket. This is in regards to us and others. Like we imagine we have to go volunteer for a whole day with an in-need charity, or we have to set aside 2hours a day to do 'self care' for ourselves. 

I want to tell you something...even the littlest act can be rejuvenating and so fulfilling. So what are these little acts?? Smile - at someone or even when you're by yourself. It releases endorphins so makes you feel good, and can be that one thing that turns around someones day! (Just no creepy clown smiles...!) 

Look around you - take the beauty in the little things. For example I was driving past an empty paddock and looked over and there was a cow standing with it's too front legs on a mound, it really only need a cloak flowing behind it! And there in the car, by myself, I laughed so hard! It re-energised me for the day! 

Next time you are walking or driving take note of what is around you. When someone tells you to take note of the simple things - think about what they are for you. A smile, a cow, a child running, a slow-motion dog running, scaring your partner...it is limitless. 

Use your time wisely. You can spend a few minutes a day both on yourself and others. You really don't need to be overwhelmed by days or hours allocated to this. 

...Until tomorrow xox

Monday, July 20, 2015

Day 239

I'm a bit addicted to a game on my phone (probably along with majority of smart-phone users!) it is a search game, where you have a list of items to look for and you tap on them when you find it. You earn coins to unlock more scenes. There is also a 'gambling' scene where you can spin with coins to earn more coins. And the amount of coins fluctuate. (just as in life!)

As I was playing the other day I had next to no coins, then tonight I had heaps. My mentality changed around my coins. And I started thinking about some advice I got last year where I was struggling for money - they said to me 'Let go of the worry around money and money will come'. At the time - I thought, how can I not worry about money if I have none to pay the bills?! Preposterous!! But playing this gambling scene made me realise - its not the value of money that affects how much you do or don't do, it is the matter of which you view it. 

When I had lots of coins, I spent them, I gambled them and then I worked hard for more. I was more relaxed, I approached it with a sense on 'if I got it once, I'll get it again' rather than being a scrooge and holding on to each coin as though it were real life! I realised lately that I have been using this in real life more often. Not that I am swimming in money, but I have the view that it will work out, and the more relaxed I become about it the more I attract. 

I guess its the same as the saying "you attract what you are putting out". Hmmm...this is an interesting topic I feel, and one that perhaps needs more exploring. But until then, I'll keep playing this silly game and let you know any other epiphany's I may have!!

...Until Tomorrow xox

Monday, July 13, 2015

Day 238

How many times a day do we say something like 'argh I have to go to work.' or 'I can't be bothered...' or 'I don't want to...' I do it! We all do!! But...what if we change that? We can acknowledge it..and turn it into something else. Be grateful for the ability to go to work. Or list the reason why this particular job is good...the pay cheque..ability to pay bills, go out for dinner etc. 

If we stop and think about what is good in something, there are many reasons to be grateful.  And you feel better about the situation. This is not always easy. To see why you are grateful for something - especially if you dislike it so much. When I was thinking about my blog today, I thought to myself - what is something I really dislike? And can I see the positives in it? 

So...the one thing I dislike IMMENSELY...is...COLD WEATHER! Yuck. I love the sun and summer and being warm. So here goes:
- You can snuggle up in front of the heater
- Having a 'doona day' or movie day is easy because the weathers crappy
- You can layer up
- You can fall asleep hearing rain on the roof
- Sunshine on a freezing day is beautiful

It's funny, as I was listing all of those, I was saying...yes..but.. or I was having a battle with myself listing all of the reasons I dislike the cold weather!! So it's not easy, but there is something good in everything. But it's up to YOU to choice which path you want to take - being negative consumes you and makes you become more negative. Being positive creates positivity. 

What will you choose to do next time you are faced with the decision. Take the easy - negative, or work a wee bit harder and find the positive???

 ...Until Tomorrow xox

Friday, July 10, 2015

Day 237

Sometimes it's ok to sit quietly and cry. Just to feel how overwhelming it is and just let go. I work in the disability field and my client was extremely upset last night. Sobbed and sobbed - very relevant considering the days events. I just sat there and let her cry. I had plenty to say, but for the first time since my accident and being told to just let yourself feel, I understood the power of just letting go. 

All you need sometimes is someone just to sit there and be supportive - not to offer advice or say everything will be ok. Just allowing you to let go and feel whatever you need to. It's funny how in my line of work I see people and dogs expressing what they are feeling when they feel it. Yet as we get older there is something in us that stops us from expressing how we are feeling. When does that change? When do we in society say it's 'wrong' to feel? 

I know I will suppress my feelings according to where I am, who I'm with etc. And on top of that very few people see me cry. But then I get angry and stroppy (which I'm sure most people have seen!!). But allowing yourself to feel however you are feeling at the time is important, then it won't get bottled up and have you express them inappropriately. Even if you meditated. Or stop and breathe and feel. Even for a few seconds. 

Acknowledgement is the first step to feel. Often as soon as you acknowledge how you feel you move on. You actually don't feel for a long period of time. 

Hmm...how are you feeling? 

...Until Tomorrow xox

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Day 236

Do you ever have one of those days where you all of a sudden know where you are heading? That clarity and no doubt that where you are heading is exactly where you should be going? It's such as strange feeling. I've recently watched my closest friends go through it - one starting a photography business with her partner, one successfully building a direct selling business, one starting a family, one beginning her first romance. 

It's so lovely to see your friends finding what they want to be doing, and just...well...doing it! There are some days were I watch and just wish things would go well for me too. But then when I stop and think about what I have right now...I realise I am happy with where I am going. And for once I am focussing on ONE business / job - not 500... It's so strange as there is still a part of me that thinks...oh no...what about...then the other part says - NO! (or shouts it reallY!)

So...I will be enrolling in a course shortly that I have wanted to do for the past 3 years. The 'ticking' off of a few to-do's on my 2015 list has been the fire I need to do more and focus more. I will be studying a small animal naturopathy course which includes massage. I am sooo excited. I will be continuing my learning of animals! Bring it on! 

So many ideas and so little time. I am going to schedule a whole day just to plan. Scrub it out as a butcher's paper day! I think sometimes we get caught up in the past - thinking about what we should of done or the path we should of taken, we forget to look at what we have now, where we are headed. 

Do you have the courage and faith to do what your heart is telling you? Go on...feel the fear and do it anyway!

...Until Tomorrow xox

Friday, July 3, 2015

Day 235

So, as you know yesterday I bought a bike. Wow. I never thought I would be so excited! Today I went for my first bike ride since my accident on a brand new bike! It was amazing on all accounts. I could ride. I rode for a whole HOUR! And it was easy because it fit me, and it was a road bike!

It's funny. I have been around 'bike' people before - previous partners, bosses, friends - but now that I have one of my very own - I finally understand what all of the fuss is about! I can't wait to climb on it again! 

In amoungst all of the excitement of riding a new comfy bike, I also need to be realistic. My body is not functioning at the best it can be and tonight when I did my 'physio' meditation I was quite aware of my chronic pain - neck, shoulder, knee foot. So I will need to take it slowly. Yet it is so nice to be able to get out and about and DO something that slightly resembles what I use to. 

Is my Megs' before accident world starting to be in reach? Or am I adapting and changing with possibilities? Either way it is nice to start to be more in control of those possibilities. I have been letting my pain take ahold and control me. Instead of acknowledging it, and finding a way around it. 

I was talking to my dad today, who is such an inspiration, he has arthritis in his lower back and a pinched nerve, so his leg feels like it is on fire every day. He also struggles to do tasks which he use to be able to do with ease. Yet he never complains and always has a laugh and a smile. It reminds me of what we have control of and what we don't. We can put a smile on our faces and see the joy in life. That is a choice we can make no matter the situation. 

What choice will you make tomorrow?

...Until Tomorrow. 

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Day 234

That exciting time when everything feels like it's starting to fall into place. I have a whiteboard in my kitchen which lists my goals for 2015 - I keep it there so I look at it every time I go into the kitchen. About a month ago I actually started to reflect on my goals each time I walked past it. And envisage what I would do / how I would feel / what it would look like etc.

In the space of one week I have ticked off two of the goals and am on the way to tick off another. Some people feel that reflection and truly envisaging what you want can be a waste of time. This past month has proved to me that it most definitely is not! 

I completed an exercise last year where you close your eyes and the mentor talks you through imagining selecting a lemon, how it would look / feel / the shape etc. Then what would happen when you cut it and how it would taste. When you opened your eyes at the end most people were salivating or cringing at the sour taste. It was to show the power of imagery. 

When you write down your goals, do you write them done matter-of-factly and just walk away? Or do you stop at each and imagine...how will you feel, what will it look like, what does it mean to you? If you are clear with your goals and really want something, you will get it. The hurdles along the way will be annoying bumps as opposed to unclimbable mountains. 

What will you imagine for your future? 

...Until Tomorrow xox

Monday, June 29, 2015

Day 233

Wow!! What a weekend! I can now tick of one of the things on my 2015 things to do! Sing and play ukulele on stage! Whoop! I was shaking afterward, but gosh it felt SO good to do something purely because I wanted to! 

It's an amazing feeling to push yourself out of your comfort zone! The adrenaline and the rush is beyond words. (and I sounded ok, if I can say so!!) We get so caught up in day-to-day living that we forget to push ourselves outside of that comfort zone - outside of the square. Why?? Is it because we might fail or be terrible at something? Why does that matter? What is going to happen if you do 'fail' (which is just a conceptual word anyway...It means something different for everyone)? 

Failure or what I like to term 'lessons' really only teach us something. For if we don't try something - how will we know whether or not it is something that we want to do? Or what if we don't fail, but succeed???!! WOWZA! Friday night when I got offstage, I was shaking. I was so nervous, yet to look at me on stage, you would of thought it was the most natural thing - I didn't look as petrified as I felt!!

What are you stopping yourself from doing? Are you giving into the FEAR rather than taking the plunge? What can you do this week to push yourself outside this comfort zone?

...Until Tomorrow xox

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Day 232

What do you do when life goes to plan and there's nothing to whinge about??!! This week I have paid off my debts from my accident! I feel exhilarated. Yet at the same time, nervous and lost! Weird! Not sure why - perhaps because I have had the debt for so long it felt part of me??!! So what did I do? I went and bought a bike! Something to do as an outlet instead of running - I don't know when I'll be able to run again :( 

It's amazing how most of the time in life if we achieve what we were aiming for, instead of relishing in the feeling of completion, we move straight on to the next thing. This is important, but so is reflection and allowing yourself to feel happy and proud. I'm not sure what it is, but we seem to think to be proud of yourself is to be 'stuck up' or arrogant. When we delve deeper into this...the definition of arrogance is to have exaggerated feelings or thoughts about ones self. Most of us err on UNexaggerated!

And when trying to sum yourself up to someone else, we say "I'm great at being empathetic, but I'm terrible at computers..." I'm great...but... Sometimes in life, to simply say I'm great with no buts (and truly believe it) not only takes courage but also strength and power. 

Try looking in the mirror and saying 'I'm great' or 'I'm so proud of you' (like you would towards a friend) and keep saying it until it sounds convincing and REAL! It's amazing what we tell ourselves, it we were kinder to ourselves we would lead a happier life..

...Until Tomorrow xox

Monday, June 22, 2015

Day 231

Sometimes through your hardest struggles you get the greatest rewards. Sounds silly doesn't it? When you are going through something really terrible, all you can think about is how horrible it is, not what gem of knowledge you'll get out of it! Yet often if we take the time when you can after the distressing event to reflect, you actually find out something amazing. Whether that be about yourself, about others, about your life or lifestyle, about how you conduct yourself or anything! 

Yesterday was one of those horrible days. Started out fantastically, beautiful weather, so I put my two birds lorikeet 'Loki' and cockatiel 'Tinkerbell' out in the sun on a bench. I went out the front with Buddy and sat in the sun with a cup of tea. I can back inside and got a load of washing to put out on the line. As I walked outside, I realised that Loki's cage had fallen on the ground, and Loki was no where in sight. A mini-breakdown, lots of tears, hugs from mum and dad and 2 hours searching...still no Loki. My boyfriend came to look for himself (as even though Loki lived with me, he was technically his!) and gave me a quick cuddle, and I then had to rush to go to work. 

I learnt a lot about myself yesterday. That animals mean more to me than 'just pets' and that even when we grizzle about them, they still hold a place in our hearts. The other thing I learnt was the power of a cuddle. Sometimes in your lowest moments a cuddle from someone you love helps you see a bit more clearly. So it is so important to surround yourself at all times with people you love. I have realised I've become more and more work-orientated and a recluse, leaving catch-ups with my friends as a whirlwind hello. 

My boyfriend said to me that he realised more the impact of his job on his pets and on me (living 3hours away too!). That it took something terrible to happen for him to realise that he needs to look for another job. 

Terrible things are unavoidable, but at least if we do see the changes we can make to live a better life they are a bit more manageable. Why wait? What would you/could you change NOW??

...Until Tomorrow xox

Friday, June 19, 2015

Day 230

Something I have noticed this week, is that in today's society it is much easier to be critical, negative and to shoot something someone says or does, rather than to say something that is positive. I have fallen into that terrible habit this week. 

I have had a challenging week, going back a few steps with my rehab, increased pain, more flashbacks etc. Instead of just writing my grateful's - or even my blog, I was grumpy, judgmental (mainly of myself) and a real horror to be around. The saying 'fake it till you make it' has been something I have been chanting to myself this week. It doesn't mean I don't feel grateful or happy this week - just that it was harder to. So I pasted on a smile (when I wasn't grumpy) and have been working on positive thoughts. 

Meditation sure does help! As does talking and/or crying! I see this guy in the gym all the time and on Tuesday (a particularly painful, frustrating workout later) he quite innocently said 'how was your workout??' I said '..grumble...I guess it went ok, but my injuries are playing up'. Then he proceeded to ask what, how etc. So I told him - briefly my story and he asked how long ago. I replied '14months' to which he said 'well done! Give me a high 5! You are doing so well, given everything you have been through'. Part of that did penetrate. Part of that made me sit up and listen. And take on board the compliment for what it is. He then shared his horrible life story and what brought him to the gym, which shed some light on the fact that others also use exercise as an outlet. 

Everyone you meet is fighting their own battle. Make it easier for them by being less judgmental and more supportive. Connect before Correct.

What are you grateful for today? What can you do today to make someone smile, or feel better about themselves? 

...Until Tomorrow xox

Monday, June 15, 2015

Day 229

Yay! Today I set aside time to work on my business...as a result I made my first informational you tube video for dog training!! Yay! I had great help from 2 amazing people, and for the first time since getting an iPad am appreciating the different things you can do with it! 

It certainly pushed me out of my comfort zone..talking CONCISELY and looking directly at the camera was quite tricky - especially for someone who loves to talk! :) Please have a look at it:

2.5hours of hard work. Now to do this consistently I would like to produce one a week - or one every 2 weeks! :) 

Sometimes the things we dream of doing are the last on our list. Maybe because fear is holding us back - maybe because we prioritise the wrong things in our day. But these are the things we should make time for, as they are the things that make us smile, laugh and feel good. I love sharing my knowledge and I enjoyed today so much - it made me realise that I am putting the wrong things first!

...Until Tomorrow xox


Thursday, June 11, 2015

Day 228

"Tomorrow is a new day" How often do we hear this term? What does it mean? How many of us can truly let go of the day before to start the following day a-fresh? Not many, I bet, particularly after talking to so many different people over the last few days who have told me that 'work has kept me up at night' or 'I can't stop thinking about...'. 

Oh I am totally guilty of this. Worrying about if what I had said or did to someone in haste was taken the wrong way..etc. This week has been tough for me. Tough on so many levels personally and professionally. It's hard for me to describe to people what I am going through, so instead it comes out as whinging, complaining or this week - being angry. Anger is not an emotion I am comfortable with nor is it one that I feel or express often, so that too is added to the learning and difficulty of the week. 

This week I have been plagued with chronic pain, nightmares, anxiety, flashbacks, lack of sleep, work pressure and stressful circumstances at work. I say this to paint a picture of my day-to-day's this week. Often if I start to discuss my pain or nightmares I am faced with initial sympathy...then 'tomorrow is a new day' or 'let's hope tonight is different'. I also say these responses - as when someone is going through something tough, what do you say?? And I appreciate it. When I start to tease it out though, sometimes no matter how positive I am, I understand that the next day may be just the same as the day before. The only difference will be is how I look at it, or how I approach it. (In regards to the pain, etc).

Tonight I went to a new GP, I needed to discuss my pain management and why I was experiencing so much more at the moment. I waited for over an hour to see him, then was pleasantly surprised as he spent over 45minutes discussing options and also linking many things that have been happening at the moment. The nightmares were due to my medication, my pain increase just happens sometimes in trauma so he gave me new medication, my angriness and ability to cope were perhaps both a result of lack of sleep and increased anxiety. He was someone who listened and explained things in a way I needed to today. 

So, yes, tomorrow is a new day. What does that mean? That means we, or I, have the power to view things differently. I have the choice to make tomorrow a better day than today. One that, whilst I may still be experiencing all of the above, I may see joy, happiness and fun in. 

Only you can decide how life events affect YOU, noone else can make you feel anything. 

...Until Tomorrow xox

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Day 227

Do you ever get to the end of the day and feel like you have been on a rollercoaster with your emotions? And you climb into bed and almost say 'thank goodness that day has finished?!'

I had one of those today, I awoke and was snuggly with Buddy and then went to the gym. My mind was scattered and I didn't allow enough time to meditate before having to walk through the work doors. The morning was crazy with lots of driving and non stop action. Then I was vague, tired (I have been having a lot of nightmares lately) and had a very low tolerance - if I could of excused myself from work for 10mins I would of (and needed to) meditated. My mind was racing, I was anxious and I just was not thinking clearly nor in the moment. 

I arrived back from my morning program a bit late - now this does impact the clients and the lunch duties, however this is the first time it has ever happened (normally I'm early!!). And at least four other staff jumped on me about being late. Suddenly I had this internal battle with myself - I did not want to react angrily, however I was angry and I tried with all my might to not bite, or say anything, as I knew I was feeling a bit off and it was my 'fault' for being late but I couldn't help it. And I let of a few swear words and vented. I went on with the next hour sort of looking at myself thinking 'that's not like me' but also holding on to the anger. Then at my lunch break I meditated - finally! Makes all the difference, stilled my mind and allowed me to have a breather. 

During the rest of the afternoon I had a chat with someone whose daughter is in and out of hospital, found out one of my friends friend died in a car accident over the weekend and one of my other friends step mothers had passed away. All of this shook me out of it and I realised that no matter how caught up in our daily frustrations we are, there are always other people experiencing their own horrific battles. 

I came home and had a different outlook, Buddy had never looked happier, I have a roof over my head, family and friends that love me and options for the future. 

Never forget to end the day being grateful for what you have. I think I will also start doing this before I get out of bed in the morning too! 

...Until Tomorrow xox

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Day 226

Tonight I started to do a jigsaw puzzle again – not just because I love them, but also because I realized that it is a form of meditation – a form of stilling my mind. And I have been spending wa-ay too much time on the computer/iphone/ipad/technology. There is something to be said about calmly doing a jigsaw puzzle with the clock ticking and your best mate (Buddy) to keep you company.

I also think a lot whilst I am doing my puzzle. In a  good way. Sometimes I will be calm and relaxed and let my mind wander, other times I will have an epiphany! Like tonight! I love puzzles, because for me I can relate everyday life to them so well. Tonight for instance was a struggle. I was starting the puzzle for the first time, opening up the box and seeing mismatched pieces – some even upside down! Heaven forbid, as that is disorder!!

So I started to find all the edge pieces, as that is the place I like to start, whilst doing this I turn all of the other pieces picture side up – notice I didn’t say ‘right’ side up?!  As I was turning the others up, I started to jump to the next thing and wondered if I should start  to collect other images? Then I stopped and had a scoff – this is what I do often in everyday life – and as a result suffer more anxiety than most, as I am not focused at the job at hand, more often skipping to the next thing before I have fully completed my initial task.

I sat there tonight, even though I wanted to jump up and write this whilst I had the thought (jumping to the next thing, before I had finished the first thing) and I sorted all of the edge pieces out. Even though it was tough at first, I stuck with it, and then by the end was having fun and didn’t want to move on!

Everyday we encounter times where we can ‘jump’ to the next thing without finishing the first thing – but sometimes all ‘multitasking’ gives us is many un-finished or poorly finished tasks and a racing mind!

Next time you are jumping from task to task, stop and if you have to, force, yourself to stick with doing only one and finishing it before you move on. Not as easy as it sounds in today’s day!! Here’s to calming your mind!

…Until Tomorrow xox