Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Day 117

So today I was pre-accident anxious. I had that overwhelming sense of so many things to do, no time to do them, and being anxious about the future and what I am going to do and the fact I was running late to appointments. The thing about anxiety is that even whilst you're in the moment - saying to yourself that you are being irrational and to look at the bigger scheme of things, you still feel like you're trying to run for the bus but find yourself on the treadmill.

I fought with it today. Which goes against everything I now know, and have been writing about for the past 116 days. The thing about this situation though is that it teaches you that you're never going to have it right ALL OF THE TIME!! You may regress or fall back into that naughty habit. But what will happen is that you can say 'whoops! I'll do that differently next time'. Because if we do it differently we will get a different result. i.e...hopefully not anxious! 

But where does most anxiety stem from? I have been talking to quite a lot of people about anxiety and just their life in general to see how they are. This is people from all walks of life and at different stages. And the big thing that struck home, was work. Majority of people are not happy with their jobs. Other reasons are limitless..relationships, lifestyle, work/life balance, health, fitness etc. The biggest thing about any worry or concern is that only YOU have the ability to change something if it does not feel right. 

The saying "Life's Too Short" is one that is often said flippantly but not really thought about. Take a few minutes to have a think about this saying and what it means to you. What in your heart would you do if you knew your life was only a few weeks / months longer? Why not do it? Often the one thing that will stop us from doing what our heart and our gut is telling us is FEAR. But something I definitely needed to remind myself today is that "Everything will work out just as it is meant to". 

Follow your heart, be brave, take the plunge, be confident and smile. It will all be ok. 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Monday, September 29, 2014

Day 116

Feedback. We all feel we can give it quite easily. We all struggle to take it at times. But secretly we want to know what other people are thinking about us. 

I think constructive feedback is very useful in being able to grow as a person and develop in whatever you're doing. However, when you are a perfectionist and are hard on yourself - like me - hearing any feedback no matter how constructive will have it racing around and around in your head. And thinking about how you could of phrased something better, or performed better or spoken better. Then when you hear the feedback - it's almost like your worst dreams realised! Damn! I didn't to a perfect job. 

Of course you didn't! I mean really, were you born with all of the skills and abilities needed for absolutely any task? Nope! So feedback is an important way of growing and developing. How do you accept feedback and be able to adapt, change and move forward? Once you have mastered this you will be able to be much happier and stop beating yourself up. It will give you the ability to provide constructive feedback to others. 

How you phase the feedback you are wanting to give is so important so it does not seem to be an attack or a stab at someone. So be kind with your words, choose them carefully and only provide constructive feedback. Then when you receive it back, you can take it for what it is, choose whether or not it is helpful and then choose to do things differently next time. 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Day 115

When I set out to write my blog (115days ago - if you can believe it!) I also wanted to incorporate giving someone a compliment everyday. Whilst most days drift past with passing compliments to strangers, some responses stick more in your mind then others. 

I was having a discussion the other day about how often we go through the motions and not know if we are impacting on anyone elses life, if we are doing a good job or if anyone is actually noticing what we are doing. I say this, not to seek compliments for myself - but for each of us to realise we're all in the same boat. If everyone noticed one thing about someone else each day, it would come full circle anyway. 

My friend is currently working a fulltime job and a part time business and has a husband and dogs..and is generally flat chat always doing something. She is so use to the daily jobs - she is fantastic at doing them, but often doesn't get any reinforcement for them. She said to me yesterday - I got a phone call from one of my downlines who called just to tell me I was doing a fantastic job! She said it carried her through the day with a smile on her face. 

How lovely to hear that - especially when you are doing what you love, not doing something for the accolades. I heard some feedback today about my blog - it made me all warm and fuzzy and smiley to think that my words are empowering others and are an enjoyment. :)

It's funny how much weight we put on the BIG accomplishments - such as finishing uni, getting engaged, birthdays, fathers/mothers day etc. But we forget to acknowledge the little steps along the way. It is also so easy to focus on what you aren't doing or what is negative about yourself or someone else. Ask yourself if in other areas of your life if you take the easy way? If not, why continue to do so with this? What if you look for the positive in the person or situation - change your habits! 

For example I had a big drive yesterday along a windy road. I was stuck behind a driver that couldn't pick his speed. (ie 60 to 80 to 100 to 90 to 60 etc) Initally I was getting a bit frustrated, aside from the fact it was annoying, it was also dangerous. I had allowed enough time to get to where I was going, so I sat back and realised the positive in the situation was that I could listen to another chapter in my talking book. 

Believe it or not, there is positives in every situation. It is sometimes harder to find them, especially dependent on our mood. Take a breath, and look at the situation from afar. Put a smile on your face and compliment someone. You may make there day a happier one, and you will feel better for doing so - rather than continuing to hold on to the negatives. 

...Until Tomorrow xox

* Apologies for the picture quotes - I'm still trying to figure out how to do it effectively on my iPad! :)

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Day 114

I watched a movie last night called "The Fault in Our Stars". I admit that I have a difficult time remaining still and concentrating on a movie. So when this movie started I was a bit unsettled and talkative, and of course because I am a Hollywood writer I knew what the movie was about and what would happen. Then as the movie continued I got quieter and drawn in. 

I will not give anything away about the movie, except to say that it has a lovely storyline to reinforce what is important in life and that you never know what life is going to throw at you. This movie is one to watch if you need a good cry. I certainly had one. I didn't realise how much I had been holding myself together until I started to let go...then I couldn't stop! I've always felt it hard to cry - like it's only for the vulnerable and heaven forbid I am vulnerable!! 

Crying is a really cleansing and good way to get it all out and let it go. Sheesh it leaves you exhausted though! (and snotty!) I felt better for having a cry. Initially it was about the movie - that there are other people in the world that are experiencing crap that is worse than what you are going through. But then it moved onto everything that has happened this year. It felt good not to be strong for a little while. To allow myself to be upset and say 'this has been a challenging year'. To be vulnerable - I think we all need to be vulnerable at times. 

After the cry last night, today I have felt drained, but surprisingly much more motivated. I also have the inner strength and focus back. Allowing yourself to cry if you need to, rather than to surpress it, will allow you to move forward, rather than continue to dwell on the negative. Life will always throw you curveballs. It's not how you dodge them, but how you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue to move on. 

When did you last have a good cry? Be honest!! If it was awhile ago, hire our 'The Fault in Our Stars' and sit down with some malteasers, a bottle of water and a box of tissues, and allow yourself to be drawn into the movie! And then have some loving cuddles from the ones you love! :)

...Until Tomorrow xox

Friday, September 26, 2014

Day 113

I am lucky to have met someone very special. It's all new and exciting and fun! We had a discussion today about if we believe in destiny and soul mates. It was such an interesting conversation, because everyone has different views on everything. 

I am (especially after my accident) a firm believer in things happen for a reason. Whether they are previously mapped out for you in a long term path, I'm not entirely convinced. I think anything worth continuing to have needs work to be put into it. So the 'happily ever after' concept to me becomes a 'happily ever after…with some work'. 

It's funny because we met online. I say that it's funny because even though I was giving it a go online I was skeptical about whether there were 'normal' (or my type of crazy) guys on there, or if they were all a bit wacko. Then we started talking..and we went on a magical date. And for those that have been reading my blog, you understand that I am a romantic and have been waiting for the right 'disney' man to sweep me off my feet! This date was just that - amazing and special. We hit it off right away. When I left, I had felt like I had actually known him for years!

We've been seeing each other for a bit now, and when we were talking tonight about 'soul mates' I got onto thinking about the fact that I think that you never have ONE soul mate in your life. That you may have one or two - in different contexts such as a friend and a relationship. I am so lucky to have one already in my life (my best friend)..and may of just met another one! 

The whole concept of you attract what you put out is so true. Had we have met before the accident, I wouldn't of been willing to accept that this was real. Now after the accident I realise that I am worthy, happy and a positive person - and THAT is what I need in my life, and that is what I have attracted. 

I talk a lot about being positive and being careful with your words, and practicing loving yourself for who you are. If you practice it enough, and start to believe it - the rest will fall into place. So…I believe there is a special person out there for everyone, how you cross paths and what you do and where you both live - is an exciting new venture and something no one will know until it happens.

"Never close a door before you open it." Megs 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 112

I was sitting in a beauty salon / hairdressing waiting room yesterday. And I overheard conversation that the hairdressing owner was having with a client while he was cutting her hair. (It's an entertaining time to do whilst you're waiting!!) He was discussing a previous client and her daughter that came in. Apparently they returned back the next day and complained about the coverage of colour in their hair. He continued to go on and on about it - exclaiming that the daughter wanted her hair like one of the Kardashians. To which he replied "if you want to pay as much as they do for their hair then we'll give you their level of service". 

I was not very subtly staring at him, thinking that it wasn't professional to be discussing or complaining about one client to another. And that he said it with blatant disregard as to who else was in the salon. I could of been a sister or friend of who they were discussing. I was appalled actually how he conducted himself and I definitely would think twice about returning there for a haircut - what would they say about me??!!

This is an interesting example of the different types of people in the world, and how if you are not careful they will creep into your life and you will find yourself sinking down into their level of negativity, unprofessionalism and complaining attitude. It's so important to choose carefully the type of people that surround you - for that is who you will become. Who is surrounding you at the moment? Is that who you would like to be like? 

The other take-away from this interaction was to be careful with your words, and if you do need to have a little vent - that you are careful where and to whom you talk to. Words have the strength to build up someone or tear them down just as quickly. And if you say it often enough - you and others will begin to believe it. So choose your words wisely. 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Day 111

Appreciating what you have done, instead of beating yourself up for that which you haven't. 

An awesome thing to live by! :) A big challenge in this day and age as we are not use to being ok with not completing all that is on your to-do list. 

Do you know the best thing that I have learnt about helping you through this? Is to surround yourself with like-minded, positive, people who an help keep you on track. My best friend (it's our 10year anniversary this year) is fantastic at pulling me up when I start to get wound up at not having done what I need to. She helps to ground me. 

I want to write about how grateful I am for the amazing friendships and relationships I have in my life. Every person has a huge impact on my life and holds a special place in my heart. My bestie is always there for me on the phone, and in person when we can, she helps calm me when I get all crazy, we can talk for hours about everything and nothing, she makes me laugh and try things I wouldn't of done before, she is so supportive of everything I do, she is one in a million and will always be special to me, and I'll love her to bits!

Most people are blessed with someone like this in their lives. And we should often take the time to thank them and celebrate our friendships! I know that I have many good friends in my life that all contribute differently on my life. Some are work friends, who you can debrief to. Some are ones you can have a few wines with. Some are exercise buddies. Some you know you can rely on to drive you home if your car has broken down. Some are there for the good times. Some make you wet yourself laughing. Some help to ground you...

You should be appreciative of every relationship you have in your life at the moment - regardless of if it is a short one, long one, someone you know from gym, school, work, cafe etc. For we often forget to thank them for being in our lives. A thank you, or a hug, or smile, or flowers, or box of chocolates can make a huge impact on someone else. Especially if it's not expected! 

Who are you grateful to have in your life? How will you thank them? 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Day 110

I was told again just today, how much of an impact my blogs have made on someone. It's so lovely to hear! I was also told that I am a good writer and should consider to do it for an income…

I'm not sure I could do that, at least at the moment, as I think it would take the enjoyment out of it, as there would be that perfectionist pressure on myself. That if it's not perfect then its not worth doing. Which is ridiculous…you definitely do not have to do something perfectly to get paid for it or to have fun with it! 

We do put immense pressure on ourselves to do something well. And I have noticed this a bit more when talking to people about the Nutrimetics opportunity. Most people are a bit scared and don't think it could work for them. But how do you know, unless you try something? And what do you loose if you try something, and it doesn't work? Not much, perhaps you'll learn a new way to look at yourself, a new skill or even make some mistakes and be able to learn from them. 

I was just discussing something this evening too, from a motivational speaker that I went to last year who said when you make a mistake or don't live up to your own high standards to say "Whoops, that's unlike me! I'll do it differently next time!". When you do that, you take ownership of the issue, learn from it (and handle it differently next time) AND be able to move on and stop beating yourself up. 

I know I've said these words many times before - but be kind and gentle with yourself. You are allowed to make mistakes, and successes come from making many mistakes. If you find yourself making the SAME mistake again and again, then it's time to stop and reflect as to why that is the case. Look and learn from it, then be able to move forward!

…Until Tomorrow xox

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Day 109

Over-explaining. This goes along the lines of the "blame, shame or justify" principals. It's something I've been noticing a lot lately. And have picked myself up a few times with it.

Most people tend to over-explain when they have something uncomfortable to discuss. For example you need to tell someone you work with that there has been a complaint made about them…something along the lines of…"Hey…I need to talk to you…" then later "How are you…How's your day been…I'm sorry to do this, but management has asked me to tell you…I'm sure there's nothing in it…but I have to tell you anyway…I really like working with you and don't think it could possibly be true…but ____ has said that you _____ last week. But I'm sure its nothing…" 

How confusing! And..if I was on the receiving end of that, I'd be thinking there was something seriously wrong!! The better way to go about it would be "Hey, can we talk for a sec. I have been asked to let you know that ____ has said that you ____ last week, and has spoken with management about it, and you need to arrange a time to speak with management yourself." Clear and confident!!

I have heard before that you can talk someone in and out of something many times in the course of one conversation. So it really is better to know what you are going to say and be really clear about it. Have a script if you need to!! But don't babble! And listen to what the other person says. If they say "yep no worries", leave it at that, don't continue to offer explanations that aren't need or perhaps wanted!! 

It takes practice, but being aware of what you are doing is the first step!! :) 

…Until Tomorrow xox


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Day 108

This week has been a bit haphazard I admit with regards to my blog..I've been sick with a sinus infection, so the days have been a bit of a blur!! But I do have some positive news. I went to my specialist to get the 'radioactive' results. I definitely had an injury to my foot, and my knee injury was quite a bit more complex than just a 'chipped tibia'. 

Verdict from the day is I am to continue on the nerve drugs for a little bit longer (about 2 more months) to continue to fix the Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. As it is having a big effect on my foot so far, no more scans as yet…if I continue to experience pain, we'll need more scans next visit. My knee…has a healing chip, plus a stress fracture, and the ligament attaching to the tibia was also damaged..plus bone bruising. 

I was told that had my injures been treated correctly (foot in boot, knee in brace and on crutches) initially by now I would be all healed. Frustrating, hey?! But have to let it go, as there is nothing I can do about that now! Now I can focus on moving forward from here. I need to hire an ultrasound machine and use it on my knee once a day for a month. 

So when I posed the most important question of all "when can I run again?!" Her reply was: "Sooner than you think". And preceded to tell me a plan of action re: training and rebuilding strength. I was soooo excited!! I forgot briefly about all of the other stuff that I still have to work at and do, before I do get to that point!!

I think though, had I have not gone through this arduous journey of figuring out what is wrong, I would never have learnt to be assertive and fight for myself. So much of my life I have spent just letting things go, when really I would of liked to investigate them further. For the first (and definitely not the last) time in my life I trusted that inner feeling and pursued what I thought I needed. And it was right! 

That saying 'fight for what you believe in' is a perfect quote for fighting for yourself. If you are not happy in one area of your life - for one reason or another, don't just 'let it go' but fight for the answers YOU need. And don't let anyone deter you from finding those either. Don't stop searching until you have found what you are looking for. 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Day 107

"What a first world problem". 

I hear that so frequently now. I understand that in our country and in our circumstance we are very fortunate and are able to have a roof over our heads, food in our tummy, jobs to go to, healthy lifestyle and creature comforts. Which is a lot more than the majority of the worlds population. 

But I think why my back gets arched a little in this comment, is that problems or issues are relative. What affects one person is very different to what affects another. And further to that everyone handles problems differently. REGARDLESS of what "world" you are living in. 

What frustrates me the most about this comment, is when it is said without knowing the background behind someones comment. Such as, overhearing someone complaining about their phone going flat and assuming they have been texting too much. But what if their context was they had just gotten a call from a hospital about their sick mother and the phone cut out before they could find out why they rang? 

It's interesting, in that yes we need to be mindful that we are lucky to have the things that we do, such as phones and cars and houses etc, but when you live in a society where you need to utilise things for your daily life, losing them can mean that you do struggle to continue to live healthily and happily. 

I feel like I'm babbling tonight. But I guess what I'd love people to remember is that we never know what someone else is going through, so it's best not to be judgemental. And not to be hard on yourself. Your allowed to have a problem - even if it is considered one that isn't as relative in someone else's life. 

Choose your words carefully, and be kind to yourself :) 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Day 106

I was thinking today about some common cliched sayings and how often we say them without really considering what they mean. 

"It's the thought that counts" - my question with this is, does it really? What if (using an exaggerated example) you only thought of helping a little old man across the street? But didn't and he was hit by a car? 

Then to contrast this… "Actions speak louder than words." This I agree with, but contradicts the above saying. And quite often no words are necessary if you do something nice. 

They are the two specific ones that I was thinking about today. But what interests me, is how frequently we say something without really thinking about it. 'She'll be right mate", "Don't worry, Be Happy", "Raining cats and dogs", "Fit as a Fiddle", "A friend of yours is a friend of mine". I'm sure there  are many others.

A lot of these sayings are outdated, yet still said so frequently nowadays. Perhaps we should watch what we say, and make sure we really mean what we say…or better yet think of some newer, more modern sayings that are relevant to today. 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Day 105

So this blog is a little late, because I have been unwell and also visiting good friends. Yesterday I went along to my friends fit club. A fun social gathering to exercise and eat cleanly. She has been running them for about a year and I keep meaning to go and have a look at what she does, it is often difficult as I live so far away, so I was excited to see how she spends a lot of her time. 

My friend was in her element, she looked beautiful, motivated, fun ad driven as she instructed her team and the other people attending the fit club. I was so proud of her! As I watched a group complete as many sit-ups and push ups as they could in a minute, I got overwhelmed with emotion and a sense of loss. This sounds so strange and even as I write it and reflect upon it, I'm still finding it hard. 

The reason for this, is that my fitness and tone have been the one and MAIN thing that I want to get back, but haven't since my accident. I am seeing a specialist tomorrow and hope that she will be able to tell me when I can run again. It took me a few hours, but I sat with it, had a few tears, spoke to a friend and then reflected. I tried to focus on how far I have come since my accident and that it could of been worse. But to be honest, that didn't help, it actually made me feel worse. Because I then felt guilty (a wasted emotion) for feeling sad when things could of been worse or other people are worse off.

So as I sat with this feeling of loss - the fact I cannot run, or ride a bike for long periods of time, or even swim for long periods, or walk long distances, my tone and strength are starting to diminish. Then I had a think about what strategies I have that make me feel good (other than exercise)

So I: 
1. Put the music on loudly and sang as loud as I could (even if I didn't know the words)
2. Talked in a scottish accent about Australian animals (crazy, but fun!)
3. Practiced singing all of the songs that I have been learning. 

I was also driving to visit a friend. So even though it took awhile, I got there. So by the time I got to my friends house I was feeling much better. 

Sometimes when you think you are going along ok, and rolling with the punches so to speak, you think you have everything sorted. My psychologist said to me just last week that she's proud of how far I have come, but that she would like to see me in 3 weeks to continue working through things. I thought I had worked through my accident and the aftermath..but clearly it's still a work in progress. And that's ok. Apparently according to everyone that knows me, I need to be less hard on myself. 

What strategies do you have to make you feel good? Singing? Dancing around the house? Reading a book? Having a bath? Make a list so next time you need a little pick me up you can turn to one of those - as long as your not suppressing the feelings! 

…Until Tomorrow xox

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Day 104

I helped celebrate my Best Friends 30th Birthday tonight! How awesome is it to go to something that is entirely designed to appreciate someone? We went for dinner, then to a movie, then out to Max Brenner for a chocolate fix (I of course had a tea…!). A beautiful and very like her birthday celebration! 

Which got me onto thinking. How different everyone is. I was thinking about my 30th (coming up in January) and how I'm going to have a day/night birthday filled with fun and festivities. I LOVE birthdays and Christmas! I love being able to give and celebrate someone else's impact on your life. But not everyone is like that - they would sooner have the day go past unnoticed. Although I do wonder if that is entirely true..we all like to be recognised and appreciated at times, maybe just on a smaller scale. 

What do you do for your birthday? Do you use the time to reflect on the past year? Your achievements? Your gratefuls? Do you set goals for the coming year? Do you appreciate your day of birth? Well ironically enough without it, you wouldn't be here at all would you?! 

I have learnt (particularly over the last few months) is that not everyone is as excited and child-like in their love of celebrating things as I am. And that's cool, so long as you know when it is your birthday and you are friends with me, I will go all-out!! 

The other thing I find fascinating about birthdays is the reluctance of people to say how old they are. Shouldn't we be proud that we have lived on the earth for as long as we have? Age should be seen as a privilege not as a bad thing. And that age old (haha good pun!!) saying "You're only as old as you feel". 

The interesting thing about this is that as we get older and wiser we seem to take the weight and worry of the world on our shoulders. This is our CHOICE. We can continue to lead lives that are worry-free and happy. I think as you get older though for some reason the 'easy way' is to worry, complain, wish for something different, loose your 'dream'…instead of working at being happy, letting go of things that don't work, changing things if you need to and dreaming BIG! And the reality is, being 'happy' and 'carefree' as an adult is work. It's not something that most people are able to do without thought, at least initially. 

So…on your next birthday, celebrate your life so far the way YOU want to. Practice dreaming and writing down your goals, and LOVE the fact that you have made it this far already!! (A lot of people in the world won't!) Accept gifts from crazy-excitable friends who love birthdays, even if you don't. Be appreciative of what the world has to offer. And lead the life you've always wanted to…be BRAVE and JUST DO IT!!

…Until Tomorrow xox