Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Day 212

29th April. A date that will be etched in my memory forever. The day my life turned upside down and I landed in planet ‘WTF’. This time 12 months ago I was laying on my sisters couch in a haze valium, hobbling to the toilet without crutches, and it hurting even to breathe. 12 months ago I hit a tree head on and managed to hobble away with a bunged up knee, neck and mentally shaken up. 

Today is the 29th April 2015. A date, seemingly. Yet our minds hold on to what happens on particular dates, and our worlds are shaped by dates…the date of our birthday, the date we got married (anniversary), Christmas, Easter…All the things we hold positive emotions to. Yet when I spoke with a few people about the 29th April being the ‘anniversary’ of my car accident – or a year on from planet ‘WTF’, I was told that we hold too much meaning to dates. So it is ok to celebrate a date for something positive. Yet for the negative, or difficult we should not focus on the date. Interesting. Yet in society we do! Look at ANZAC day, September 11, Black Friday etc.

For me, I love celebrating the good things. But as much as I tried not to focus on today being a year on, I recognize that in our life, time and recognition of significance – negative or positive – is so important. Today was never going to be an easy day. My subconscious especially…with nightmares for the past 2 weeks, sleepless nights, flashbacks, unexplained anxiety whilst driving. But I did get through it. Even though I wanted to curl up in a ball and ignore the world for the day.

I got through today - 12 months ago and I got through today, today. I am alive!! I have learnt so many things in the past 12 months - more than I have if my accident had not of happened. It has opened the door to many new and wonderful things, and has helped me to face some dark and challenging things as well. I would like to write more on the journey I have been on and how I have felt along the way, so will do so tomorrow. 

…Until Tomorrow xox

No comments:

Post a Comment