Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Day 149

Tomorrow marks the start of the '10 days in another world' - something I have volunteered on for many years. Due to my accident I am not able attend this year. Everytime I think about it my heart breaks a little more. It's difficult because most people have the response of 'let it go' or 'there's always next year''. 

What it is to me however is another example of what I have had to give up as a result of my accident. The difficulty of this, is that the "choice" was based on my physical wellness, not as a tangible choice. So yes I chose not to attend technically, but it was due to my accident and my injuries as a result of it. 

When I am faced with another thing (like the 10days) that I cannot do as a direct result of the accident, I am reminded again at the severity of my accident. And start to process and relive it all over again. It's funny how when you start to immerse yourself back into society and where things like "It could of been worse" or "at least you can walk" or "You'll be right" are said so frequently…You begin to believe them yourself. 

I give myself a reality check often and whilst I agree that I could be "worse off", I remind myself that each person experiences things differently and it is ok to feel however you are feeling. And the most important thing to remember about these comments is most people feel awkward or scared and are not sure what to say, so they say something they think is appropriate. THEY ARE JUST WORDS. 

The big thing about this, is sometimes no matter how many times you try to let go or move forward and are reminded about everything yet again, we have the right (for ourselves) to feel however we need to. Be careful not to let other people's behaviour or passive aggressive comments affect the way you think, feel or act. Keep ahold of your power. 

…Until Tomorrow xoxox

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