I'm having a sensitive day today - we all have those once in a while. (A fact I was just discussing with a disability client this morning!) I received a message - completely innocuous about wanting to speak to me tomorrow - I think it's just about work and more shifts. Instead my brain has immediately gone into the - "Oh no! What have I done wrong?"
A fact which occurs often, it's just whether or not you choose to listen to it, and pay it attention. Of course we all have that little gremlin who creeps up on us (particularly if we have relaxed a little on the 'self care') and tells us all the possible negative things and wants to drag us down. And like I have mentioned before (but one of the many reasons I love writing this blog, is to constantly remind myself!) its about acknowledgment, sitting with it. Rather than resisting the thought - or worse feeding it!
What I mean by that, is the vicious circle of "oh my goodness, what have I done? Maybe last shift I…(insert something probable…forgot to put on the washing, spoke about something in front of the client…etc)..then did I really do that? Oh maybe I did? Oh and that reminds me of the time five years ago that my boss pulled me up and I…." And so it goes on…continually fed and blown WAY out of proportion, generally for the simple fact that your boss wants to simply ask you a question - or offer you a shift - or just to see how you are going…!!
So…Sitting with it…I'm reminded yet again of having to identify it - what colour does it represent , in this case red!, what shape is it? SHARP! Does it move? Yes, almost flashes like Los Vegas signs. Any other defining characteristics? Yes it's really hot, sits in my stomach occasionally will 'punch'. Now that you have identified it, how do you feel? I am starting to feel better - more in control!!
Now…onto meditation and my journal!
…Until Tomorrow xox