Today has been a big day…another specialist appointment for my knee. Then I went along to a managers meeting for Nutrimetics (I felt a little like an imposter, because I am not YET a manager..soon enough though!)! So it was a big, but fun and productive day also. We spent a bit of time doing some self-development regarding listening.
We played chinese whispers - so much fun, what a laugh! But the fascinating fact was that the message was altered, changed, forgotten, lost along the line. Interesting because when you pass on a message to someone to pass on a message, you can never be certain the initial message will be passed on correctly. I know I have spoken before about ACTIVE listening, where you are truly engaged in what someone is saying - which actually is VERY rare! In addition to what I have written about previously - we listened to a short clip from TED regarding listening (you can watch it here… http://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_5_ways_to_listen_better#t-72737)
What I found really good and is something I will definitely try, is finding the joy in mundane noises that you hear all the time - but 'tune out'. Unfortunately this can be referred to with conversations with people "did you just hear what I said?" and 'selective hearing' and the worst one where someone's voice becomes 'white noise'.
Over the years the best listening tips I have learnt and come across is:
1. Give someone your undivided attention - when you are talking to them, make sure you are not 'multi tasking'
2. Never call someone when your mind is preoccupied
3. Ask someone to repeat back what you have said in their own words - to make sure they have grasped what you had said (don't ask "Do you understand")
4. Body language is so important - lean toward them, have eye contact, nod, smile (appropriately), make sure you are not tapping the table with your fingers, or feet or have your arms crossed
5. Make sure you get out all of your yawns before talking with them
6. Listen to the whole of what someone is telling you - not just their words.
7. If you are having a serious conversation, clear any distractions and go to a comfortable place
8. Make sure you listen to yourself as well
9. Clarify you have heard correctly "So what you are saying is…."
10. When the urge to tell "your experience" when talking with someone, close your mouth tight and resist. You never know what someone else's story will teach you.
…Until Tomorrow xox