|Day 10 photo: A beautiful day with a beautiful view|
Today was a day of firsts of me getting back in the swing of things…first party back with Nutrimetics, first time getting lost in an amazing view without feeling guilty, first time driving at night, first time I have looked through (and sorted out) things from my old car, first time using my new washing machine…!! No wonder kids get so exhausted…everything is new and a 'first' for them. It's amazing how when you start to view things differently, you appreciate what has been there in front of you the whole time!
As I have mentioned in a previous blog, I struggled (past tense) to say no - I felt like I was always letting someone down if I said 'no'. Which hinders your ability, at times, to stop and be able to look at life differently. One of the biggest things I have learnt over the past 6 weeks, is that by saying 'yes' to everything, you cannot possibly do any of it to the best of your ability. And by doing so, the person you end up letting down the most, is yourself. So one of the most powerful things we can do to lead a happier life is learn to say 'no' to the things that our 'inner or gut feeling' tells us isn't right.
We squash our 'gut feeling' so much and as an adult we forget how to stop and listen to what it's telling us. It is that feeling that if we were to follow and trust we would be happier and be able to accept things that truly help us on our journey. If you need inspiration - listen to your children or nieces or friends children…they have to qualms in saying 'no' if they don't want to do something!
One of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given was if you struggle to say 'no' - buy yourself time. I am working hard to remove 'maybe' and 'perhaps one day' out of my vocabulary. This doesn't serve to help anyone especially if you wanted to say 'no' in the first place. The person who is asking something of you will expect that 'one day' you 'may' do whatever they are asking. And YOU will feel guilty and burdened knowing that you need to either do something you didn't want to do, OR find a way to tell them after the fact that you're not intending on doing it. It's awkward and horrible to have that hanging over your head.
So, a skill that I am continuing to learn to say is:
"Can I please get back to you?".
That way if you are 'put on the spot' - rather than overcommit or feel 'guilted' into doing something, you have time to go away and listen to your 'inner feelings', to decide if you want to do it for yourself, or is it to please someone else.
The other aspect to saying 'no' is to do so without feeling guilty. Guilt is a wasted emotion and doesn't reward anyone. If you say 'no' for the right reason (when you listen to your inner feelings) it's doing what is best for you. It is not selfish as long as there is no 'spite' behind your decision.
This is a huge topic, and I may come back to it, as this blog is a continuing journey. Just make sure when you are faced with a decision you do what is right for you, even if it may not please someone else.
…Until tomorrow xox
|How is everyone going with this one? :)|