Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Day 74

Today I had the biggest day I have had since my accident. I had three hours on a return to work program at my 'day' job as a disability worker - where they have set me the task of sorting through the filing system, then a little bit of dog training, plus a few appointments! I think Buddy (my dog) was most upset, it's the longest he's been left too!

Starting back at my 'day' job has been interesting. I have only done 3 hours monday and wednesday, but sheesh - I felt like I had worked a full 14hour shift..! When the return to work guy was talking about slowly getting me back into it, I thought "pfft - I can easily do a whole day". But after three hours, I was tired, sore and mentally exhausted! (and may or may not of needed a nana nap!!) It's so easy to get frustrated at what you CAN'T do…you know "I used to be able to walk the dog, pack the car, have a dog training client, make a phone call, do a 10km run…" just before breakfast! So to be tired after only three hours of office work…well … that's an insult! 

I put this in here, because dogs are not the only ones that believe foolish things. The more foolish things you tell yourself and the more often, the more you will believe them. Tell yourself beautiful things :) 

So I have been focussing this week on identifying, acknowledging and being proud of what I've accomplished so far! I sat down with my pen and paper and started writing. What can I do today, that yesterday, last week, last month I couldn't do? The list kept growing and it made me realise that to compare myself to when I was at peak health, fitness and mental clarity (as I was before my accident) to when you are recovery from a trauma, have ongoing injury and fatigue easily - is preposterous! 

I spoke earlier in the week about only comparing yourself to yesterday. But golly it's difficult! I think to appreciate each day as a separate and wonderful thing is an amazing skill to have. We always focus so heavily on what we don't have, rather than what we do. How is your grateful diary going? Been a bit neglected? So pick it back up, dust it off and write 5 gratefuls for today! 

…Until Tomorrow xox

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