Do you ever make a decision that feels so right? For the first time in my life, I have preemptively made a decision on my life journey rather than wait for 'things to fall into place'. As you may of read, prior to my accident (or B.A.) I suffered from anxiety. Not the 'normal' type that most people say they have, but the type that gives you an overwhelming feeling of helplessness and panic.
Since my accident (A.A.), after the initial stages, I have not had that feeling. I have been anxious about driving, or driving at a particular time, or something related specifically to the accident. But not about daily worries. They don't seem to worry me as much, on sure a large scale anyway. I will always put others problems high on the priority, but what I have realised is that in order to help others effectively I need to be able to put myself and my adventures first.
This is different to being 'selfish'. Selfish is not giving other people consideration and being primarily focused on your individual needs and desires. What I am talking about is the ability to assess what makes you happy and sits well with you and do it with consideration of others. For when you are happy, others will naturally be happy as well! And only then can you truly help them anyway.
And now I have this feeling that feels so abnormal to me - but probably is the 'normal' for most - the lack of heightened anxiety. It feels strange, like something should happen any second. I'm sure it won't and everything will continue to be abnormally normal. I can now understand for the first time why comprehending and understanding mental illness for someone that has never experienced it would be so hard. It is so far removed from what they normally experience.
When it comes to making a decision, sit with it, see how it makes you feel. If there is the slightest bit of unsettle in your tummy, then you should rethink it, and make a different decision. But if you have an excited somersault and makes you grin at the thought of it - that is the path that you are meant to travel, and DO IT!
…Until Tomorrow xox
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